Ruvheneko Regrets Publicising Her Pregnancy As She Loses Her Twins
Media personality Ruvheneko Parirenyatwa has expressed regret over publicly announcing her pregnancy after losing her twin babies shortly after birth.
Parirenyatwa announced her pregnancy on social media last year, revealing that she had opted to use a sperm donor while still looking for “Mr. Right” because she felt that time was running out. In a recent interview, Parirenyatwa stated that she shared her story to start a conversation about miscarriage and stillbirth, which are often taboo subjects in Zimbabwean culture.
She told Alpha Media Holdings CEO Trevor Ncube that “the first thing you should know is that not everyone is happy for you. She added:
The second lesson is to safeguard beautiful things because humans destroy them. Just be quiet.
In Shona there is a saying ‘usafukure hapwa’ (loosely translated to mean don’t disclose inner secrets). That is one of those things, miscarriage or losing your child.
Mine I do not call it a miscarriage because I delivered, they were live at birth so we cannot call it a miscarriage. I lost my babies and it’s a completely different experience.
She expressed her disappointment in the local culture that impinges on women’s rights, including the taboo surrounding talking about losing a child. Parirenyatwa encouraged women facing similar challenges to seek help from professionals, friends, and family. She also urged them not to feel ashamed or like a failure, as it was beyond their control. She said:
I do not know how our culture says we should not talk about losing a child. It also says that you should not grieve or cry when you have lost a baby, something mythical about how it means that you will not conceive.
There are so many rules and terms and conditions that our culture has that I need to question our ancestors about.
I would tell anybody going through this that there are professionals, friends and family that you can reach out to.
There is a shame that women also carry especially if it is your first attempt at trying to become a mother. You then feel like a failure so there is a shame that you carry to say that I could not carry a child to term, my womb is not fit for motherhood.
African culture often advises against publicising one’s pregnancy until after the first trimester due to high rates of miscarriage and stillbirth. Some cultures believe that announcing a pregnancy publicly may attract negative energies or evil spirits that could harm the mother and child.
